The Millen Baird Show

'The Millen Baird show' is a broad appeal, live-action comedy series that is like nothing else ever made in New Zealand before. The show revolves around a dysfunctional town, Paua Point, and its offbeat locals. The town provides the platform for a host of sketches featuring distinctive characters that we kind of already know. Each character struts his or her stuff in an intertwined story line that grows by the week. Set in a sleepy beachside town, each episode is a series of loosely related vignettes following the misadventures of the weird and wonderful townsfolk.

ROY THE PASTOR
Roy is the local town pastor who sounds like a racing commentator. His vernacular is littered with horse racing jargon even during the wedding ceremonies and funerals he presides over.

SHIRLEY THE DOG WALKER
Shirley is the town's lazy dog walker who is more interested in watching TV than exercising her client's K9's.

HORSE
A local "hero" blessed with amazing rugby skills, Horse is the gay captain of the Paua Point rugby team. Unfortunately, Horse has never "come out of the closet" and despite his camp behaviour and femininity not everyone in town is aware he is gay.

DAMIEN THE JOCKEY and LAVERNE his WINS CASE MANAGER
Damien is an out of work Jockey who is forced to search for other work. His demonic WINS case manager, Laverne, takes great pleasure in placing him in completely inappropriate jobs.

KENNY ROGERS
Kenny is a rambunctious 8 year old who makes Bart Simpson look like baby Jesus. His unemployed father, John, is on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

PAUL THE POLICEMAN
Paul is the inept, nasal-twanged, long-winded local cop who can't be bothered solving crimes. He spends his days looking at objectionable material on his lap-top computer and romancing his girlfriend Clittie, the local sex worker.

THE SCHOOL MUMS
These ladies are constantly "fighting" over who's child is superior.

CLITTIE THE SEX WORKER
Clittie is the innocent, local sex worker who silently solicits customers on the main street of Paua Point.

XENA AND TINA
These two females "haunt" the local pub in search of 'the perfect man' and blame their bad luck on New Zealand's 'man drought' .

THE POMMY FAMILY
The Vindaloos are a foul mouthed, lower class English family touring round NZ in a campervan. They set up camp in Paua Point and start antagonising the locals.

STEVE THE KARATE INSTRUCTOR
Steve is a former stuntman who teaches Karate in town. After one drink in the local pub, Steve turns from Jekyll into Hyde.

THE INDIAN TWINS
Rajiv and Sanjay are brothers in law who run the local dairy. Rajiv is also the town lawyer and Sanjay the Jury foreman.